Hi y'all.
Here's to you some inspirations 'On History and Writing'. Enjoy.
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Until next time - Majken xx
All the stuff we have!
I once saw a documentary recorded in the late 1940s about the San peoples, who are among the oldest indigenous cultures living in the Kalahari desert. Back then, they were nomads, wandering from place to place, seeking food, and living their life. All they owned was what they could carry in their hands and the (few) clothes they had on their bodies. They lived in nature, built simple houses wherever they arrived, hunted for food, and drank water from natural springs. But where's all their stuff? - I thought to myself. It was hard to truly get that you could live a real adult life without owning tons of things to help you through.
Oh, all the stuff we have! Why do we own so much? And when does the stuff start to own you?! In this programme, we hear different people telling their stories about their experiences with owning things and what consequences it has had for them in their lives.
Like the woman who shares how her house burned down during a wildfire - a scenario which not only happened once, but twice! Now she has a box right inside her door containing the most important of her stuff, easy to fetch should she be unlucky enough to experience losing her house a third time. However, as she says, the box's content shrinks as the days pass. She’s started to learn that when it comes to it, the stuff she has is not that important to her.
Keith Haring is still here
I’ve always liked Keith Haring’s cartoon drawings. Watching this short movie on his work and life, his art becomes even more vibrant to me—such a force of energy he was! A short while back, I passed a shop window with Haring’s drawings on display. Although his life on this planet was short, he is still here!
How to relax your own rules
In my everyday working life, I need to moister a good amount of self-discipline. To keep it up, I set out rules and directions to help me keep showing up and doing my job. Which is a good thing - at least when I do it healthily. However, sometimes the rules feel tight, and I need to relax. Perhaps also to PLAY some more - take time and do something entirely else.
In the article How to relax your own rules the clinical psychologist Danielle Doucette talks about how we often have rules and how these rules sometimes become too strict - and thereby unhealthy for us to follow. Here are some takeaways for all you fellow rule-people out there.
What can strict rules look like? Perhaps you say this to yourself:
I must finish my to-do list every day.
I cannot let others see me upset.
I can’t share personal information with others until I fully understand what’s appropriate.
…or something similar.
Now, setting rules for yourself isn’t bad in itself as mentioned. It only becomes narrowing and perhaps even hurtful when you follow them too strictly because this can lead to a higher level of distress in your life. It may cause difficulties in your relationships, Doucette tells, and in the end, you might become a person who’s having a challenging time adapting to change.
So what to do about it? Now, first of all, you need to recognise that you follow your own set of rules too strictly. You can, Doucette points out, start noticing the language you use. Do you often say “I must…” or “I should always….”? This type of language may be linked to an all-or-nothing (inflexible) thinking style.
Also, you can start noticing if you are having difficulty changing your daily routines. Do you, for example, have a specific morning routine - and do you feel anxious or irritated if you need to do it differently? This can also mean that you are heavily guided by rules.
So what to do about it? One way to deal with inflexible rules is to say it out loud when you start gliding into a strict pattern. For example: “Oh, here I go again, the I must do this in a certain way rule pops up again - hello there.” This way, you put a distance between you and your acts - and when you do this, you can do something about it, you can act differently.
But how can you act differently? Well, you can remind yourself, Doucette says, that you don’t have to follow your rule. Perhaps you can even practice doing the opposite to strengthen your flexibility muscle. Also, it’s a good idea to remind yourself why you’re doing this training - that you want to become more flexible (and less distressed) in the future, even if the training is challenging.
“In my work, I’ve seen that people who develop an openness to breaking or relaxing their rules often report improved relationships and overall mental health, an increased sense of belonging, and the ability to adapt more effectively to changing circumstances”, Doucette concludes.
So, easing up on your rules can help improve your life and relationships. A kind message to all of us here is, I guess, to lower our shoulders, take a deep breath, and practice being more relaxed.
How about you? Do you need to be more relaxed about following specific rules? And what do you do about it?
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‘On History and Writing’ is a blog post from me to you in which I share historically rooted real-life stories from around the world - told in exciting and creative ways - along with thoughts that circle the creative process of writing non-fiction texts. I post an email once every fortnight. If you're not already a subscriber, you are welcome to join the list. Thanks for reading! Majken xx
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